Sailor Moon: Secondary Characters: Evil
{Jon Carp}
address: jcarp@med.unc.edu



Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.  Is this really the best way to cope with the 
complex emotions you're experiencing?  You've clearly reshaped your external
 reality to justify your internal desire for conflict resolution.  Don't 
turn to outward violence, turn to inner strength.--Big Dog (2 Stupid Dogs)



The horror!  The horror!--Kurtz




	Setsuna faced the wall.  The paper was light blue and finely 
striped.  A more imaginative person could probably have seen whole worlds in 
the pattern, even distorted silhouettes to keep her company, but Setsuna 
could visualize none of that.  She just sat and stared.
	Hotaru appeared behind her.  "Whatcha doing?" she asked.
	"Nothing," Setsuna muttered. 
	"That's not true," Hotaru answered, eternally keeping her upbeat 
attitude.  "You've been here three days, Setsuna.  Not even you could just 
sit there doing nothing for that long."
	There was silence for a minute.  "Fine.  I've been thinking," 
Setsuna answered finally.
	"What about?"
	Again, there was a pause.  Eventually Setsuna turned around and 
looked at Hotaru.  There was no expression at all on her face.  "Michiru," 
she said softly.
	"Still?  I thought you said you were going to be able to get over 
her.  I mean, technically none of...you and her...actually ever happened.  
The gods erased it.  You, me, and them are the only ones who remember it."
	Setsuna was silent.  "Okay," she agreed eventually.  "I wasn't 
thinking about her."
	"Well, then what were you thinking about?"
	"Endymion."
	"Oh my god," Hotaru muttered with disgust.  "What the hell is the 
matter with you?" 
	Setsuna didn't respond.
	"Michiru I can understand," Hotaru continued.  "She's your friend.  
She's kind to you.  It fits that you'd attatch yourself to her.  Him, on the
other hand, I just don't see."
	"Hotaru, shut up."
	"Don't say that.  If I shut up we'd just be sitting here in 
silence."
	"Fine with me."
	They sat in silence.  Hotaru shuffled her feet uncomfortably.  
Setsuna lay down and looked at the ceiling for a while.  "Hey, Hotaru," she 
said after a few minutes.  "I've decided to become evil."
	"What?" Hotaru asked, disappoined.  "Why?"
	"Bitterness.  And jealousy."
	"But that's not enough," Hotaru pointed out.  "That's enough to hate 
somebody, but evil?  Pure evil?  That's a million times what you're 
feeling."  She went over to Setsuna and put her hand on her shoulder. "You 
don't want to be evil," she said.  "Trust me.  You have no idea what you 
lose.  All the time you can feel something just...consuming you and you feel 
like you should fight it off, but you can't, because it's what you are.  Do 
you understand?"
	"No," Setsuna answered blankly.  "But it doesn't matter.  I need 
something.  I've never been alive, do you know that?  Never."
	"Setsuna...are you okay?  You're not making much sense."
	"Why the hell should I?" Setsuna snapped.  "I've been making sense 
my entire life, and what has it gotten me?"
	Hotaru couldn't think of a thing.
	"I haven't slept in six hundred and forty-eight years, Hotaru.  Do 
you know what happens when I try?"
	"Setsuna..."
	"I dream.  I see myself just standing in an empty room, and it looks 
normal, but I know I'm in the future somehow.  I just look around, and fall 
to my knees, and start sobbing.  That's all I do.  Once in a while, I'll get
frustrated and start yelling and screaming, but it doesn't do any good."
	"Setsuna, you never told me anything about this."
	The woman ignored her dead friend's statement.  "The last time 
before I decided not to sleep anymore, he came.  He just stood over me while 
I wept, and looked at me with those eyes, and smiled so tenderly, and I 
looked up and thought he was going to..."  She shook her head to keep from 
getting distracted.  "Anyway, he didn't.  He grabbed me by the hair, and 
told me to shut up.  And of course I couldn't, so he hit me over and over, 
and started...choking me, and...then I woke up, and saw that I had been 
strangling myself.  I can't do this anymore, Hotaru."
	"Do WHAT?  I don't understand!"
	"I can't keep doing anything for them.  I've been doing it my whole 
fucking life, and it's going to drive me crazy.  I used to think that if I 
did my job, I would be rewarded with happiness.  I deserved it, and since 
the world was such a fair place, I'd get it.  God, I was such a fool.
	"I have no idea what happiness is, Hotaru.  I know I felt something 
when I was with Michiru, but it could have been constipation, for all I 
know.  My entire goddamn existence has been dominated by bland, watered-down 
depression.  Sometimes, like when we were dead, it's less intense than 
others, but it's always there, and it's always everything."
	"But you can do something about that, can't you?" Hotaru asked, 
beginning to get kind of scared.  "You can do whatever you want now."
	"We're not talking about me!" Setsuna suddenly yelled.  "We're 
talking about them!  It's their rules I've had to live by, and their 
happiness I've been watching.  The other thing I was always taught, was that 
Love was the only thing that would save us.  Even when everything else had 
forsaken us, It would remain and sustain us through the difficult times."  	
	She looked up, her eyes filled with tears.  "That's the way it is 
with everyone else, isn't it?  I've watched Haruka and Michiru.  I've 
watched them for weeks at a time, when I've had nothing else to do.  It's 
not fair.  I've loved twice.  One was declared unfit for existence, and the 
other is forbidden.  It's THEIR GODDAMN RULES!" She looked around, confused 
and suprised at her own intensity.  "I've got to stop before it kills me," 
she continued.  "I've got to do something for me, and not them, and evil's 
the only thing I can think of."
	"Please," Hotaru said.  "I'm begging you.  Don't do this."
	"I've already decided, Hotaru.  I was never asking your permission, 
anyway."
	"So why are you telling me about this?"
	Setsuna licked her lips.  "Because I want you to join me.  I want 
you to be evil with me."
	"Setsuna, I..."
	"No, hear me out.  This whole thing fucked you, too.  Their rules 
made me kill you, and it's because of their little pecking order that you're 
still dead.  If you were Usagi, don't you think you'd have been brought back 
to life in a second?  We can change it, Hotaru.  Together."
	Hotaru looked at her.  She was completely serious.  "I'm sorry," she 
whispered.  "I'm sorry.  I can't."
	"But why?  You..."
	"I just can't, Setsuna!  I'm happy.  You can't be evil when you're 
happy."
	Setsuna closed her eyes, causing a tear to roll down her right 
cheek.  She wiped it away blankly.  "Do I at least have your support?" she 
asked.
	Hotaru didn't answer.  She stuttered for a few seconds, but then 
gave up and shook her head.
	Yet another silence.
	"Get out," Setsuna growled.
	"But Setsuna, I..."
	"GET OUT!  And don't ever come to me again!"
	A tear rolled down Hotaru's left cheek.  She disappeared.



	Professor Tomoe looked up.  He smiled with his lips.  "Setsuna!  
Glad to see you!"  No, he wasn't.  "Do you want anything to drink?"
	"No," she said politely.  "How are you doing?  The last time I saw 
you, you seemed in pretty bad shape.  About Hotaru's death, I mean."
	He looked up sharply.  She gave off an innocent smile, taking 
pleasure in the fact that he knew she'd just delibrately caused him pain.  
"I'm fine," he said shortly.  "Just fine."
	"That's good," she said.  They weren't looking at each other.
	"Um...why did you come here?" he asked. 
	"I need to talk to you," she said.
	"Okay.  Please make it quick.  As you can see, I have a lot of work 
to do."  He indicated the short stack of papers on his desk.  
	She smiled.  "I'm evil now," she said.  
	"What?"
	"I'm evil now," she said a bit louder.  "Anti-good.  Scourge of love
and justice, and all that bullshit.  I need to come up with an impressive 
way of putting it."
	He leaned back in his chair, pondering if anyone would hear him if 
suddenly it became necessary to scream at the top of his lungs.  "Okay," he 
said slowly.  "Setsuna...I've been going to see somebody for a while now.  
Maybe you should...y'know, think about it."
	She laughed.  Fake, like normal.  "You think I'm crazy," she said.  
"But I'm not.  I'm EVIL.  There's a huge difference."
	"Yes, but why are you telling me this?" he asked, staring at her 
suspiciously.
	"I want you to join me," she said.  "I wan't you to be evil with 
me."
	He checked possible escape routes and calculated his chances of 
getting away if she attacked him.  Bad, he realized.  Very bad.  "Setsuna, 
do you know what you're saying?" he asked.  "You're saying you're...evil.  
And you want me to be evil with you."  She nodded.  "I'm sorry, but I'm 
going to have to ask you to leave," he said apprehensively.  "If you don't 
mind."
	She laughed falsely again.  "I thought you'd resist.  But you don't 
understand.  You've had experience with my side, haven't you?  Don't you 
ever miss it?"
	"No, I can't say that I ever do.  Now please, Setsuna, leave me 
alone.  I..."
	"One more thing," she said quickly.  "Just let me tell you one more 
thing, and then if you still want me to leave, I'll go."
	He decided that it was better than death, and nodded.
	She smiled.  "I didn't tell you the truth about what happened to 
Hotaru," she said.  "We decided that it would be best to spare your 
feelings.  She didn't die in a hit-and-run.  She was possessed by Pharoah 
90, and it was decided that, to ensure that he couldn't achieve his goals, 
the only way was to...kill her.  So we chose a time when she was asleep, and 
there'd be little pain, and Usagi went up and did her magic...whatever her 
power is, and just murdered her.  I didn't want her to do it, but she said 
it was the only way."  She leaned forward.  "That is what we're fighting 
against," she whispered.  "That cruelty.  Will you come with me?"
	Throughout her speech his face hadn't shifted from disbelief to 
horror to grief to anger.  Instead, he grew increasingly amused.  He 
laughed.  It was real.  "You really don't respect my intelligence, do you?" 
he asked, grinning.  "She visits me too, Setsuna.  And she told me what 
really happened.  You can stop wasting your time here, murderer.  The door 
is behind you.  And you should put on a larger shirt.  One would think you 
were trying to seduce somebody, or something."  He started working on his 
papers, refusing to look up.  A few minutes later he heard the door slam.
	He closed his eyes and let in a deep breath of relief.  "Good for 
you, Poppa," someone said behind him.  "Good for you."




	Rei blinked.  She looked over at Makoto.  "Wait a minute," she said. 
"You met him WHERE?"
	"In...my shrink's waiting room, okay?" Makoto grumbled.  "But it's 
not how it sounds."
	"Good," Rei said, grinning.  "Because it sounds absolutely insane."
	"No, he's really sweet.  And there's nothing wrong with him.  He 
just wanted to go over some things, okay?  So stop thinking that."
	Rei tried to look innocent.  "Me?  What would I be thinking?  So,
when he kisses you, do you feel sparks?  Electroshock therapy?"
	"Ha ha ha," Makoto grunted.  "The others were so...nice...about 
this.  Why couldn't you be like them?"  She shook her head.  "Anyway, I'll 
bring him by here tomorrow.  Remember, I really like him."
	"Wait a minute.  You told the others before you told me?"
	"Yes.  I don't trust you with this kind of thing."
	Rei rolled her eyes and was about to say something, but realized 
that Makoto was staring up behind her.  She turned around and saw Setsuna 
standing there.
	"May I speak with you for a moment, Rei?" she asked
	Rei found it impossible to say no, and nodded.  "Um...excuse me, 
Mako-chan."
	"Sure," Makoto said.  "See you tomorrow."  She headed for the door.
	"Goodbye, Makoto," Setsuna said.  "Enjoy the pasta primavera you're 
going to eat for dinner tonight.  And I'm sure you'll have fun tomorrow 
night, which will be the first time you and your new boyfriend have sex."  
She waved cheerily.  Makoto stopped, blinked, shrugged, and walked out the 
door.
	"What's this about?" Rei asked.  "Something happened?  Something 
going to happen?"
	"No," Setsuna said, giving off a little chuckle.  "Nothing like 
that."  She looked at the younger senshi carefully.  "We're very alike," she 
mused.  "Much more so than you may think."
	"What do you mean?"
	"We're both observers," Setsuna said.  "We just watch, without ever 
bringing ourselves to force any changes.  It's what we're used to."
	"Um, Setsuna," Rei said.  "Are you sure you..."
	"But don't you ever get the urge to fight back?  Just do whatever 
the hell you want to whomever the hell you want?"
	"I..." Rei began, but Setsuna cut her off.
	"No.  Wait.  That's not you.  Damn."  She sighed, and closed her 
eyes, thinking hard.  "Oh!" she said, looking up.  "I'm sorry.  Let me start 
over.  Ahem.  You have a very strong will, don't you?  You don't want 
anybody to mess with you.  Right?"
	"I suppose."
	"Well, in that way we're opposites.  Or, we used to be, but I'll get 
to that later.  I let people like Queen Serenity order me around, and I 
followed their commands without question.  You, on the other hand, couldn't 
take that, could you?  I mean, you'll take orders, but only when you truly 
believe in the end goal.  You have your own mind.  I always envied that 
about you."
	"Thank you," Rei said, absolutely bewildered about what this was all 
about.
	Setsuna smiled.  "However," she continued.  "If you don't mind my
saying so, you are a bit naive.  You've heard that cliche about power 
corrupting haven't you?  Well, it's true.  I've seen it happen many, many 
times."
	"So?"
	"So Usagi might be your friend now, but what about when she's the 
queen?  Only a fool would believe she'd stay the same.  I think it'll be 
quite a shock when she suddenly starts saying, 'Do whatever I say, Mars.'  
'Go die on the battlefield for me, Mars.'  It happened to her mother, Rei.  
And it'll happen to her."
	Rei looked up at this impossible to disrespect person in confusion. 
"Well..." she said slowly.  "Even if I did believe you, which I don't, why 
are you telling me this?  What do you want me to do about it?"
	"We can stop her.  Together."
	"What do you mean, stop her?  What are you talking about?"
	"Before she becomes queen."  Setsuna couldn't help the smile that 
grew on her face.  "We have to STOP her."  She looked down as the meaning of
her words took effect.
	Rei was speechless.  Her eyes were larger than normal, her mouth 
hung open in horror as if she'd just heard the most terrible thing she could 
imagine, which, of course, she had.
	"It's the only way," Setsuna said.  "I've seen the future, and it's 
the only way to save us, and the world.  Will you help me?"
	As stated before, Rei was speechless.
	"Don't let what you've been taught stop you now," Setsuna continued. 
"I trust you with this knowledge, because you're the one I believe is strong 
enough to do this with me.  Plus...there is another reason."
	"What?" Rei asked weakly.
	"Revenge."  Setsuna leaned closer.  "He did the same thing to me."
	Rei looked up, confused.  "Who?  What are you talking about?  I 
thought we were talking about Usagi, I thought..."
	"Endymion," Setsuna whispered.  "He hurt me just like he hurt you."
	"Hurt me?  Setsuna, he never hurt me!"
	"He left you alone."  Setsuna was looking at nothing while she 
spoke.  "All alone."
	"I'm not alone, Setsuna!" Rei protested.  "I never have been!  I 
didn't care about him that much, I mean, it didn't hurt me to let him go 
with Usagi.  Because...they were happy."  She suddenly looked up, 
determined.  "I can't help you," she said.  "I don't care what you say about 
the future or anything else."
	"You don't understand!" Setsuna hissed.  "He left you alone, 
remember?  He has to pay!"
	Rei inhaled with understanding.  "My god, Setsuna, is this the only 
reason you wanted to..." she couldn't finish the sentence.  "Just out of 
petty revenge?"
	"No," Setsuna answered.  "That's not all.  It's also because...I'm 
evil now, Rei.  Evil."
	Rei blinked.  "What are you talking about?  You're not evil."
	"I am now," Setsuna said proudly.
	"No, I mean, you're not evil.  I'd feel it if you were evil."
	"What are you talking about?" Setsuna asked, her face beginning to 
fall.  "Of course I'm evil.  I've been evil for five days."
	"No, you haven't."  Rei would have laughed had this not been such a 
strange situation.  "Trust me.  I can feel your aura, or whatever it's 
called, and it's not evil.  It's just empty."
	Empty.
	"But the...but...I...NO!  Evil!  I..."  Setsuna eventually gave up 
trying to complete a phrase and stormed out of the room.
	Rei was going to try to figure out what happened, but decided it'd 
be easier to let it go.




	Setsuna stood alone in her room, eyes closed and desperately trying 
to keep control of her emotions.  "Pluto," she whispered.  No response.  
"Pluto, come here." a little louder.  Still no response.  "PLUTO!!"
	A small shimmer, and her god was there, annoyed as always.  "What is
 it?" he asked.  "I'm busy."
	"Why aren't I evil?" she demanded.  "I decided days ago that I was, 
but I'm not!  What the hell's going on?"
	He shook his head.  "Wonderful," he muttered.  "She's getting 
worse."
	"What was that?"
	"Nothing.  Oog, my head hurts.  Why couldn't I have had a sane 
senshi?  Like Mercury.  Why couldn't I have had Mercury's senshi?"
	Setsuna glared at him.  "Bad luck," she growled.  "Now shut up about 
your problems, and tell me why I'm NOT EVIL!!"
	"Why do you want to be evil, anyway?" he asked.  "You're supposed to
be enjoying yourself, not fucking around with the alignment of your soul. 
Why can't you just shut up and be happy, like the rest of them?"
	"Too late," she murmured.  "It's your fault for freeing me too late.
Anything that happens from now on is your fault."
	"The hell it is."  He sighed.  "I won't stop you, but anything 
stupid you try to do will be your problem."
	"Fine.  I accept that.  I accepted everything about this five days 
ago.  So why hasn't it worked?"
	"You can't just go around saying you're evil and expect it to be 
true," Pluto grunted.  "It's like dressing up as Santa Claus and being 
suprised when people think you're going to give them shitty overpriced 
dolls, or something.  You need to DO something evil."
	"I have evil plans," she protested.
	"Yeah, well those mean shit, baby.  You have to actually carry them 
out to mean something.  You can't just stall, like you've been doing.  You 
WERE planning on actually going through with your plans, weren't you?"
	"Of course," she said.  "Why wouldn't I?"
	Pluto grinned.  "Because you're scared."
	"I'm not..."
	"It's a big change.  Anyone would be frightened.  Or are you just 
worried that you couldn't stomach what you plan on doing?"
	"I don't know what you're talking about," she said stiffly.  "It's 
nothing I haven't done before."
	"Yes, but then you were sure you were doing the best thing.  What 
about now?  You have to be absolutely positive, or you'll be taking that 
short trip to Loonyland within a few weeks."
	"I'm sure," Setsuna said.  "Believe me, I'm sure."
	"Of course you are," Pluto said doubtfully.  "I suggest you prove 
it.  Give it a test run.  Then you'll know."
	"What do you mean, test run?  What should I do?"
	"Oh, I don't know.  Go kill somebody or something.  Use your 
imagination, but make sure it's complete and total evil."  He looked around 
suddenly.  "Yeah," he muttered to someone who wasn't Setsuna.  "Hold on.  
Just a second."  He lookes at his senshi again.  "I gotta go.  Get back to 
me about this, okay?"
	"Sure."
	He nodded.  "See ya," he said, scratching his ass as he disappeared.


	Setsuna was confused.  She wanted more than anything else to be 
evil, but was it worth the sacrifice?  Losing everything but the darkness.  
Emptiness is better than pain.
	But what the hell kind of life is that?
	She smiled, ready and willing to prove herself.  She walked to her 
door and opened it, and took a deep breath, something tickling her ear drums 
teasingly.
	Voices coming from the next room, soft musical deep harsh beautiful.
	Harukaandmichiru.
	Setsuna smiled, and took the first step towards their door.


