Sailor Moon: Secondary Characters: Boredom
{Jon Carp}
address: jcarp@med.unc.edu



Conciousness is not a plaything.--R.D. Laing






	Plan.  That's always important.  Just jump into something like this 
headfirst and you'll find yourself smooshed into the wall like a cartoon 
villain.
	So.  Time and place.  Time and place.  Time and place.  Well, time 
is obvious.  Late at night, of course.  Who'd think of having some kind of 
double-cross ambush slaughter in broad daylight?  That would just be silly.
	Okay, place is tougher.  The docks?  No, it's not a drug bust.  
Deserted warehouse?  Not safe with all the asbestos.  Hi-rise rooftop?
	Aha.


	
	Setting:  Room with white walls.  A large desk and a couple of 
chairs.  One door with two words on the outside.  TEMP STORAGE
	Michiru was playing with the paper-clips she found on the desk, 
making little abstract shapes out of them, linking them together to make 
bigger abstract shapes, throwing them across the room, starting over.
	Haruka was seeming to take immense satisfaction in tapping her foot 
on the floor.  It was all she'd been doing for hours, anyway.  Michiru 
wondered when she was planning on throwing a tantrum.
	"HI!" a voice called from the door.  "How you DOING?"
	A small child-like thing walked into the room very happily, eating 
ice cream right out of a carton.  It was accompanied by a taller, 
silver-haired, grey-eyed, less-energetic person. 
	"Hi, Hotaru," Michiru said morosely.  "Good to see you."
	"Right," Haruka added, giving a rather violent TAP.
	I brought you some Cherry Garcia!" Hotaru exclaimed, handing out two 
unopened cartons and spoons that appeared out of nowhere.  The two women 
took the ice cream, and began to eat unhappily.
	"Oh, and this is my friend," she said, gesturing to the other person 
in the room.  "She doesn't exactly have a name or anything, seeing as how 
she technically has never existed, but she sure knows you two."
	The person shyly looked at (Haruka and) Michiru.  "Hi," she said.
	"Hey," they grunted.
	Silence, much to Hotaru's dismay.
	Haruka broke it.  "So," she said.  "Unnamed person.  How's it feel 
to never have existed?"
	"Well, I can't say it's better than the alternative," the 
silver-haired woman said, giving Haruka a look that was meant to say, 
"I've...had sex with your girlfriend on numerous occasions."  That was 
actually impossible with the limited number of muscles in the human face, so 
Haruka missed the point.
	Death walked in, followed by Makoto.
	"Finally," Haruka grunted.  "Hey, Death, when are you going to let 
us out of here?"
	"Your fate is being discussed as we speak," Death said.  "As soon as 
we figure it out, you'll be moved to your permanent places.  Okay?  Okay.  
Bye."
	"Wait a minute!" Haruka yelled.  "You can't just leave us here!  
What the fuck is taking so long?!"
	"Listen," Death said commandingly.  "You sit down and shut up or 
I'll have you reincarneted as a lab rat!"
	Haruka sat down and shut up.  Death walked out of the room quickly.
	Makoto looked around, confused. 
	"Setsuna?" Michiru asked.
	"I think so," Makoto answered.  Hotaru offered her some ice cream, 
and they all ate in silence.




	"Pluto?"
	"Yes, Jupiter?"
	"Send them back to earth."
	Pluto grimaced.  "How many times do I have to tell you?" he 
muttered.  "I'm not going to do that.  Never.  Not in a million years."
	Uranus snorted.  "Pluto...are you trying to make everybody hate you? 
I mean, is that your ultimate goal here?"
	"I'm not being an asshole here, Uranus," Pluto grunted.  "You know 
I'm right.  1. All the big threats to the humans have been dealt with 
already.  2. They can all be just as happy dead as alive.  And most 
importantly 3. They've been brought back to life far too many times already. 
It really makes me sick to think that they die, and we just go, 'Okay, just 
head on back now!'  They're MORTAL, they have to die sometime, and this, 
my friends, is their time.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to figure out a
way to deal with my senshi."  He excused himself from the room.




	Incredibly suprising, what they found in the outers' house.  



	
	She stood on the roof of the building, looking out across the 
cityscape.  Ugly as hell.
	The sun was going down, causing the buildings to glow red at the 
top, and some parts had already dissolved into darkness except for little 
pinpoints of light that were windows where people were.  She hated those 
damn lighted windows.
	Just like she hated the people walking around below her.  Every 
single one of them.  They deserved her hatred, more than they deserved the 
happiness and love they thought was routine.  
	She was making herself depressed again.  Taking out a cigarette and 
lighting it, she sat down and went over the plan again in her head.
	When she got to the part about killing them one by one, she couldn't 
help but smile in anticipation.  That moment would truly be glorious.  It...
	Wait a minute.  She had just smiled.  She'd been doing that a lot 
recently.  What was it...five?  She tried to remember again.  Yes, it was.  
She'd smiled five times in twenty-four hours.  Wow.  That was a record.
	She almost smiled again, but then a disturbing thought struck her. 
Were any of them sincere?  
	It had occured to her at the thought of killing them that, yes, she 
should be smiling here, but was that the way it worked with normal people?  
Do they say, "Okay, lips...CURL UPWARD!"  Wasn't it supposed to be more 
automatic than that?  Not even killing Haruka caused that kind of reaction.
	Better not to think about it.  This is what you want.  Or so you've 
said, and that's going to have to be good enough.
	It was dark now.  She figured it would take them a few hours to 
track her down.  She stood up, and tried her best to radiate evil.  She 
smiled and spread her arms wide.  They were going to come.
	Was she nervous?  Difficult to tell.  Was she excited?  Who knows.  
Did she even care?  Not really.




	Hours.  
	Some guy had come in and installed a television, but all it seemed 
to pick up was old Gilligan's Island reruns, excercise equipment 
infomercials, and MTV.
	Hotaru and her friend had left, saying they would be back "in a few 
minutes".  It had been nine hours.
	It had been a while since anyone had spoken.  Haruka had found a 
little rubber superbounce ball and was throwing against the wall.  Whump!  
Whump!  Whump!  Whump!
	Whump!  Whump!  Whump!  Whump!  Whump whump whump boing boing 
boing..."Dammit.  Could you get that, Michiru?  Thanks."  Whump!  Whump!  
Whump!  Whump!
	"Y'know what the problem with life is?" Haruka asked rhetorically, 
catching the ball and holding it.  "No matter what you do, it always turns 
into this."
	"What, death?" Michiru asked absent-mindedly, twisting a paper-clip.
	"No," Haruka answered.  "Boredom.  Everyone has choices they can 
make, and we work so hard trying to figure out the best way to go with each 
of them.  But it doesn't matter, does it?  Sooner or later, usually later, 
everything just turns into this.  It's like a big running gag that's gotten 
old."
	Michiru nodded, remembering how Haruka got philosophical when she 
got bored.  "Right," she muttered.
	"Why do you think she did it?" Makoto asked suddenly.
	They didn't respond for a minute. "There's no way to know," Michiru 
said eventually.
	"I mean, do you think there was something about us that we HAD to 
die?  Because..."
	"We don't know, Makoto," Haruka said shortly.  
	"It's not fair," Makoto said.  "I had just met somebody.  Why did 
she have to do it now?  Why not three weeks ago?"
	"Please don't feel sorry for yourself," Haruka said.  "It's not 
what any of us needs right now."
	"I'll feel sorry for myself if I goddamn want to," Makoto shot back.
 "I had just met a guy who cares about me for who I am."
	"Was," Haruka corrected.
	"Right.  Was.  And now...well, who knows what's going to happen now.
 We'll either be shipped out or shipped back, right?  Dammit, I hate this 
waiting."
	A pause.
	"I hate it more," Haruka said.
	"I seriously doubt that," Makoto grumbled.  "At least you two are 
together.  I don't think either of you really remembers what it's like to be
alone."
	"Yeah, well at least you like yourself," Haruka said angrily.  "At 
least you don't know the world would be worse off if they did send you 
back."
	"Maybe I do!" Makoto yelled.  "What reason do I have to like myself?
What good am I?  Nobody's ever loved me, that should be some kind of sign!"
	"Oh, shut up," Haruka snapped.  "You're a fucking good person and 
you know it.  You'll get no sympathy from us."
	"Excuse me, Haruka?  Sympathy?  Who asked for sympathy?  Did you 
hear anyone ask for sympathy, Michiru?"
	Michiru's head shot up from her paper-clip art.  "I'm sorry, what?"
	"Nothing," Haruka said.  "Makoto just thinks she was worse off than 
we were."
	"It's because I was!" Makoto protested.  "Just look at you.  Strong 
as hell, with your beautiful girlfriend who would and has died for you, just 
sitting there like some kind of anorexic Fabio, and you tell ME that I had 
it better?  How can you even think that?"
	"At least you can sleep at night!" Haruka yelled.  "You can look at 
the world and just enjoy what you see, instead of having to pick it apart 
looking for some kind of danger all the fucking time!  At least you managed 
to get friends at some point in your life, people who care about you just 
for who you were, and..."
	"Bullshit," Makoto interrupted.  "Do you think they'd really be my 
friends if I wasn't Sailor Jupiter?  If I was just me, they'd have been 
scared of me just like everyone else, and left me alone from the beginning! 
 Besides, you have Michiru.  I don't have anybody!"
	"Yeah, that's just great, when you have ONE THING that makes your 
life bearable and it's in danger every day.  You can never understand how it 
feels, Makoto.  I had to force myself to not care if she dies, even though 
I knew perfectly well I couldn't be without her.  Back me up here, Michiru. 
 Tell her what we have to do."
	"Don't bring me into this," Michiru said, halfway done with a little 
shape she was making.  "I like me.  I liked my life, I like my death, and 
when we're sent back I'll like my life again."  She looked up at Haruka and 
raised an eyebrow.  "By the way, dear, I don't appreciate being called a 
'thing'."
	Haruka ignored that final comment, and glared at Makoto.  "Do you 
want me to tell you the things I've done?" she asked.  "Do you want to hear 
what I had to live with every second of day?"
	"Who wants sympathy now?" Makoto sneered.  "You're not fooling 
anybody.   You seem to think I'm some sort of innocent, like Usagi.  Not all 
of us inners are the same, you know.  It's hard, watching them all go about 
their happy lives and trying to fake it myself.  They're the only people 
who've ever liked me at all, and I had to at least try to fit in with them."
	"Oh, so you don't feel like you ever 'fit in', huh?" Haruka snorted.
"Well, boo fucking hoo.  I certainly have no idea what that feels like.  Do 
me a favor.  Take how people think of you, multiply it by a billion, and 
add to it the rumors from walking around with HER everywhere you go.  That's 
me right there."
	"How sweet," Michiru muttered sarcastically.  "I never knew you 
cared."
	"I'm sorry, I'm trying to make a point," Haruka said.
	"You're dancing around the issue here," Makoto declared.  "You're 
not alone, I am.  It's as simple as that!"
	"The hell it is!" Haruka yelled.
	They glared at each other.  Michiru regarded them with interest, 
wondering who would get in the next shot.
	It was Haruka.  "My parents never loved me!" she yelled, then leaned 
back, satisfied.
	But Makoto was prepared for that attack.  "My parents died!" she 
countered.
	They fumed.  Haruka was about to launch an air strike of memories of 
death, but was cut off by high-pitched laughter.  They all looked in the 
direction of the door.  Hotaru was there, tears streaming down her face, her 
mouth wide with glee.
	"What's so funny?" Haruka and Makoto asked, almost at the exact same 
time.
	"You!" Hotaru giggled.  "What is this, the Most Pathetic Senshi 
Competition?"
	"No," Haruka answered.  "I'm just trying to get Makoto to admit the 
truth."
	"Oh please, you..."
	"Listen, shut up, both of you," Hotaru chuckled.  "Neither of you 
comes close to the most pathetic senshi."
	"Oh really," Makoto grunted.  "I suppose it's you, right?"
	"Nope," Michiru said.  "It's me.  I just learned that the person 
with whom I'm co-dependent respects me about as much as a used wad of 
chewing gum."  She glared at Haruka, who gulped.
	"You're all wrong," Hotaru said.  "Just think about it a minute.  
You know who it is."






	The most pathetic senshi leaned on her staff and stared at the 
inners.  They stared back.
	And for the longest time, nobody said a word.
	
		

	A random thought: Do you put on the happy face because you know the 
grey skies are going to clear up, or do the grey skies clear up as a result 
of putting on the happy face?
	Oh, who cares.  It's just a stupid song anyway.

	